A friendaskedme ifshe shouldtalkmore about hersuccessesor herfailures in her blog. That's why today I amwriting this post. It is giventoo much importanceto thefear of failure. In fact,fear of failureservesas an excuse too often.For example,if we workfor someone, most of the times, the costof failureis absorbedby the company andnot by us.
In myopinion,people are notafraidto fail.It's blame. Criticism. We prefer not to be bright because we are afraid of criticism. We hesitate to create innovative movies, launch new initiatives in human resources, design a menu with dishes that give the views, or make bold statements because, deep down, we hate and fear that someone might call us to account. "This is the biggest stupidity I have ever heard!", "What a wasteof money""Who is responsiblefor this?" Sometimesthe criticism don't need to be soobvious.Thefear of hearingsomething like "I find it strangethattheyreleaseduntil they havedonefurther research" isenough to killanidea that might evenbe good. Orevenjustlistening to someonebeingcriticizedfor fear to settle. I admit.When I receiveabad review, it bothers me.It would begood toalways heargood things. But it doesn't happen.
But thisis notbad at all. Like this people noticewhat Idid orwhat Isaid.Some peoplelike it.Othershate it. Abad reviewdoes notspoil my day becauseIrealizedwhat an honor itis to receivea critique,whatever it is.It means I'vefrustratedthe expectations of someone.This means, in reality,I didsomething thatwas worthcomment. The lessonis simple: the attitudes,products and ideas thatare spokenare the ones that are worth beingdiscussed.
Today I bring you some psychological reasons people eat too much.
Food is no longer just food. We mix food with security and love and sometimes we say we eat with our eyes.
People have some trouble to find when it's the best time to stop eating and when their no longer hungry.
I have the same problem. We usually don't rely on my stomach but on all sorts of external cues, from the size of our plate or the habits of others around us (many kids that are obese come from overweight families). If the size of the plate is two times bigger from our usual plate we don't care and eat everything plus the dessert.
In behavioural economics I have been studying many psychologist' papers and many of them have papers about our necessity to eat so much. (I'm not writing the references but if you need I can share them with you) . The main conclusion of these papers: people depend on how much others give them and larger sizes causes them to eat more.
But what drives people to order bigger portions when they know it isn't healthy for them?
Many psychologists have found people are guided by social status. Bigger portions a desire to signal status.
Think of all the cultural norms that associate larger products with increased status, from the screen size of televisions to the size of our houses. And plus it's more prestigious to have one TV for each room even though we don't watch TV at all at home.
Interesting to note that in experiments where people were said they had less power they would eat more than other people with more power but when told they were in a prestigious event they would eat less than those with power.
"The larger point is that we don’t just eat to fill the void in our belly. Instead, we eat excessively to fill all sorts of empty spots, one of which is a chronic lack of status." by Jonah Lehrer
Curiosity: the number of people worldwide who are dangerously overweight has now exceeded the number who are undernourished.
I saw this on a magazine the other day and wanted to share it with you:
What if you dream big every day
What if you make a choice to create new rules for yourself
What if you generate power from passion
What if you inspire through attitude
What if going big means expecting more of yourself every day
What if you allow yourself to fly
What if you erase doubt, embrace pain and smile from your heart
What if your determination becomes bigger than your fears
What if trusting your body and mind means breaking barriers?
Yesterday I got slapped on my face. Metaphorically.
I had a dinner with some friends. They booked the dinner to 9.30 pm and almost everytime I'm with them I come home around 4/5 am. So I said I couldn't go because I was training today morning early. Normally I need to sleep at least 6 hours to train properly or otherwise my head isn't there.
A friend of mine when heard my answer said this: "the excuses are falling down the drain and the invitations too. Your choice man! Good luck with your stuff".
That really touched me way too deep. I couldn't sleep well last night...
But I smiled. This made me think what I'm doing here and what are my goals.
I don't want to lose my friendship or my social life.
So if people don't change their habits this must be a 1-1 deal: I need to miss some hours of sleep from time to time to be with them and they need to understand that this is important to me and accept that I can't lose hours of sleep as much as they can.